Espada Vacation!
by Deadblackkat
Summary: four espada go on vacation! series of drabbles. more to come! F!Ichigo, the Cero Espada. rated T for natural Grimmow-ness...
1. Prologue and Deadly car ride

"Alright... now let's begin." Aizen said to the ten espada sitting below. "Four of you are going to the real world for some rest and relaxation. It will be random. Gin, bring the hat!" Gin walked up and handed Aizen a hat and he picked out four slips of paper. "The four whom are going are: Ichigo, Grimmjow, Starrk, and Ulquiorra! Congrats! Pick up your Gigai's later. This meeting is adjourned." Aizen got up to leave and the chosen four looked at each other.

"So... what is there to do in the real world?" Grimmjow asked Ichigo.

"From what I remember, there's a water park, the beach, and amusement park, and video games. It was fun." Ichigo said.

"Ichigo, are you sure it's fun? The only two times I've been there was when I was fighting Kurosaki. While that was fun, it was boring."

"Grimm-Kitty, lighten up!" Ichigo nudged her elbow into Grimmjow's chest. "It'll be fun!"

"Why am I going? I just wanna sleep..." Starrk finally said.

"Starrk, you can sleep all the time if you want when we get there."

"Fine."

"..." Ulquiorra walked up to the three in the lounge room.

"Ulqui-Kun!" Ichigo ran up and hugged Ulquiorra while everyone else snickered. "I'm glad you're coming with us!" Ichigo grabbed Ulquiorra's arm, and (somehow) both Grimmjow's and Starrk's collars. She proceeded to drag them to the room where their Gigai's were. She tossed the Gigai's to their respective owners, then put hers on. Ulquiorra turned away when he noticed that Ichigo started to change her Gigai's outfit. Let's just say that Ulquiorra is sensitive and that both Grimmjow and Starrk passed out due to nosebleeds. Ichigo looked down, now fully dressed, at the two espada and giggled a bit. "Oops... forgot they were guys..."

"T-that's nice.." Ulquiorra said, trying not to show any emotion. Grimmjow and Starrk finally recovered and sat up. When all four of them were in their Gigai's, they all walked through the Garganta.

***Real world***

Drabble 1: Deadly car ride.

The four looked around the streets of Karakura town and saw a car with a note on it. 'This is your way of transportation! Please enjoy! Aizen.' The four looked at each other and Grimmjow decided to break the silence.

"Shotgun!" he yelled.

"I can't drive yet..." Ichigo climbed in to the back seat behind the driver. Ulquiorra couldn't drive either, so the only capable driver was the Narcoleptic, Starrk. He slid into the driver's seat and proceeded to drive the car towards the hotel the four were staying at. Grimmjow and Ichigo were arguing abut something, Ulquiorra was defending Ichigo, and Starrk turned on the radio. Fireflies by owl city began to play and the music started to lull Starrk into a daydream, and before long, he fell asleep.

"FUCK!!!! STARRK FELL ASLEEP!!!!" Grimmjow yelled and the other two looked at the driver, whom started to drool on the wheel. "We're all going to die!" Ulquiorra was shocked and couldn't speak. Ichigo just peered over the seat and looked at the sleeping Starrk, who's hands kept on moving.

"How is he still driving?"

"WHO CARES? WE'RE GOING TO DIE... AGAIN!!!!!" Grimmjow yelled at the top of his lungs. Ichigo poked starrk's cheek and he swatted the hand away and continued driving.

"Is he really asleep?"

"OH GAWD... OH GAWD!!!!!!" Grimmjow was hyperventilating now. Ichigo leaned forward and put her hands on the back of the seat and then jumped over it and sat on Starrk's lap. She took the wheel in her hands and began to drive. She got a shudder down her spine when a hand wrapped around her waist.

"My plan worked..." Starrk said lazily. Ichigo shrieked and slapped the now-awake First Espada. She stopped the car and got out and started to walk away. Let's say that Ulquiorra was not happy. He proceeded to somehow coax Ichigo back into the car. She got back in and then Grimmjow and Starrk looked back to see Ichigo asleep on Ulquiorra's lap. 'Operation: Get the Berry-Fail... Operation: Make Ulquiorra React- Success,' Starrk thought.


	2. Hotel madness

Hi again! here's chapter 2! two more drabbles! if you have any ideas for future drabbles, please tell me! the third one was based off a comic on deviantart. it was hilarious... don't remember who's it was... or else i would put their name on here.

Read and Review plz! (and i don't own bleach...)

* * *

Drabble two: Watch what you say

The four Espada finally arrived at the hotel and checked in. Surprisingly, all four were already marked down as to having reservations. Grimmjow and Starrk shared a room, while Ulquiorra and Ichigo shared a room.

"This is some sort of joke, right? I have to be bunking buddies with the person with narcolepsy?" Grimmjow raged. "And the Emo get's the girl! Very funny, Aizen!" Grimmjow trudged up the stairs to the room he was occupying. "Damn emo... he'll probably not know what to do with Ichigo... if it were me, I would be..." A swift thump on the back of Grimmjow's head sent him down the hallway. "Damn!"

"You would be what?" Ichigo said, glaring daggers towards the Sexta espada. Ulquiorra set his hand on Ichigo's shoulder.

"Let's not play with trash, alright Ichigo?" Ulquiorra said, devoid of emotion.

"Alright." Ichigo walked back with Ulquiorra to their room leaving a dazed panther to sit there looking back at them.

"Fucking bitch..." Grimmjow muttered under his breath. He then walked back towards his room to see Starrk sleeping on the bed. Grimmjow was pissed, but not stupid (or is he?). He sat down on the couch and just watched the T.V.

* * *

Drabble three: Walk-by conversation

Grimmjow wanted to go outside to get some sun. to do so from the hotel room, he had to pass Ulquiorra's and Ichigo's room. When he did, a devious grin went on his face. 'What are they doing in there?' he thought and pressed his ear to the door.

"Ulquiorra, it's too big! Take it out!" Ichigo whined. 'what the hell?' Grimmjow thought.

"Alright..." Ulquiorra said.

"Hmm... that was bad... try again." Ichigo said.

"Alright." Ulquiorra said and Grimmjow leaned close when he heard a squeal of sheer pleasure.

"That one fit!" Ichigo said. That was enough for Grimmjow and he scurried back to his room, holding his bleeding nose. 'They were at it! OMG!' Grimmjow thought.

***What really happened***

"Ulquiorra, it's too big! Take it out!" Ichigo was pointing at the puzzle piece in Ulquiorra's hand.

"Alright..." Ulquiorra said and took the piece out.

"Hmm... that was bad... try again." Ichigo said and placed a different puzzle piece in Ulquiorra's hand.

"Alright." Ulquiorra took the piece and fit it in with the other pieces. Ichigo squealed with pleasure.

"That one fit!" Ichigo said, and after a long pause she broke the silence. "Now we know where the last piece goes! Put that piece in!"

"Alright." Ulquiorra fit the piece in and Ichigo admired their work.

"Whew! That polar bear puzzle was hard..."

"Yes it was."

"Think Grimmjow will leave me alone now?" Ichigo said, full aware that Grimmjow was listening in until a little bit back.

"I think he'll be scarred for life." Ulquiorra said, and Ichigo smiled misceviously.


	3. Truth or Dare? plus more

**_Drabble 4: Quiet game_**

Ichigo and the others were hungry, so they decided to go out to eat.

"I wanna get Chinese!" Ichigo said, thinking of lo mein.

"American!" Grimmjow said, thinking of hamburgers and raw(ish) meat.

"Japanese." Ulquiorra said.

"I don't care..." Starrk said with a yawn. The four couldn't agree, so they had a game to see where they would eat.

"Alright here's the rules. If you talk, you lose. You may try to make other people talk, but nothing physical. Sleeping is immediate disqualification. Alright? Game starts in 5...4...3...2...1... go!" Ichigo said. Grimmjow was immediately bored out of his mind. Ichigo just had a staring contest with Ulquiorra, and Starrk fell asleep.

"Ha! Starrk loses!" Grimmjow blurted out. Ichigo motioned with her thumb that Grimmjow was out. Grimmjow let out a growl and sat down pouting. "Whatever... at least there's sushi..." Ichigo continued her staring contest with Ulquiorra. Ichigo blinked then had a grin on her face. She leaned forward and placed a kiss on Ulquiorra's cheek.

"I-Ichigo! What was that for?" Ulquiorra said.

"Haha! I win!" Ichigo said.

"No you didn't! You said nothing physical! Thus you broke the rules. Ulquiorra wins." Starrk opened an eye. "We get Japanese."

"Aww..." Ichigo pouted then saw something that caught her eye. "Look across the street! A buffet! And they serve stuff from around the world!" Ichigo pointed across the street at said buffet. "Can we go there?"

"It's Ulquiorra's choice."

"Fine. We can go there." Ulquiorra said. Ichigo squealed with joy.

"Softie..." Grimmjow muttered, but got a kick to the head from an annoyed berry.

"My Ulqui-Kun is not a softie!" Ichigo yelled at Grimmjow. Grimmjow got up and rubbed the side of his face.

"Damn you woman! Leave me be! I can talk!"

"Nope! Because you lost first, you can't talk all through lunch." Ichigo skipped across the street and went inside the restaurant. The four espada ate and then went back to the hotel room, Grimmjow with a broken arm for talking.

**_Drabble 5: Truth or dare?_**

"Ehh... I'm bored... someone entertain me..." Ichigo said, spreading out on the floor of the room. Grimmjow and Starrk were there also.

"I heard from someone at the table next to us say something about a game..." Starrk said.

"Eh? A game? What's it called?" Ichigo perked up.

"They said it was called 'Truth or Dare'. It's simple really." Starrk said, somewhat interested in the game.

"Oh! I know that game! You spin a bottle, and whomever it points to gets asked a question or told to do something. Then they either have to answer truthfully or do what is requested of them. But they are first asked 'Truth or dare' and what they pick chooses which they do!"

"Sounds interesting..." Ulquiorra said.

"Let's play!" Grimmjow was over-exited.

"Alright!" Ichigo grabbed a bottle and spun it. It pointed towards Grimmjow. "Alright Grimmjow, truth or dare?"

"Dare."

"I dare you to... hmm... Kiss Starrk on the lips!" Grimmjow fell back and his head hit the floor Starrk was drinking water and did a spit take.

"He has to what?" Starrk said.

"I have to what?" Grimmjow said at the same time.

"You..." Ichigo pointed at Grimmjow. "Have to kiss him..." She then pointed at Starrk. "On the lips."

"NO WAY IN HELL!!!!!" Grimmjow said. Starrk was too busy being in shock.

"Yes way in hell! You joined the game, you have to do it!" Grimmjow winced then sighed. He leaned over and placed a quick kiss on Starrk's lips.

"There... ya happy?" Grimmjow crossed his arms.

"Yay! He did it! And I got it on tape! Gin's going to LOVE this!" Ichigo snickered.

"You better not give that to fox-face!" Grimmjow yelled.

"I won't!" Ichigo said. "Alright, Grimmjow, spin the bottle." Grimmjow spun the bottle and it landed on Ulquiorra.

"Ulquiorra, truth or dare?" Ichigo said.

"Truth."

"Alright... did you... hmm... did you..." Ichigo started to say.

"DID YOU REALLY HAVE SEX WITH ICHGIO?" Grimmjow blurted out, and the other three fell backwards.

"W..What? Ulquiorra and Ichigo?" Starrk sat up and looked at the accused couple.

"No..." Ulquiorra said. "We were doing a puzzle."

"It's true!" Ichigo said, and Grimmjow shot her a look. "Alright, Spin the bottle Ulquiorra." Ulquiorra spun the bottle and it pointed towards Starrk. "Truth or dare?"

"Dare."

"Hmm... I dare you not to sleep for One week." Ulquiorra said.

"Aww..." Starrk pouted and then spun the bottle. It landed on Grimmjow again. "Truth or Dare?"

"I'm going to go with Truth this time."

"Alright... Are you embarrassed that you're still a virgin?" Starrk said with a sly grin and Ichigo giggled.

"What? NO! I mean YES! Wait... ARG!!!" Grimmjow looked angrily at Starrk. "What kind of question is that?"

"A trick question." Starrk said. Grimmjow glared at Starrk then spun the bottle. It landed on the person he wanted: Ichigo.

"Ichigo, truth or dare?"

"Dare."

"I dare you to give me a lap dance." Grimmjow smirked evilly. Starrk and Ulquiorra sweat-dropped, and Ichigo was beyond irritated. She pointed two fingers at Grimmjow and fired a quick (and not very powerful *) Cero at the teal-haired Espada's head.

"He's an idiot..." Starrk said.

"Baka..." Ulquiorra stared, and Ichigo kicked the somewhat lifeless body out of the room.

"Don't come back!" She said before slamming the door on Grimmjow's head.

**_Drabble 6: Lick_**

"YAY! CHEESY PUFFS!!!!" Ichigo was spinning around the room holding a bag of said cheesy puffs. Ulquiorra just looked at her curiously.

"What are cheesy puffs?"

"EEHH?!? YOU DON'T KNOW?!?" Ichigo stared at Ulquiorra.

"...No..."

"We have to change that!" Ichigo opened the bag and pointed it towards Ulquiorra. "Take some!" Ulquiorra took some out of the bag and placed one in his mouth.

"It's good." Ulquiorra said finishing the few that he had left. He looked down at his now cheesy fingers and started to stand up to go wash them off.

"NU! You don't wash the cheese off, you lick it off!"

"Lick?" Ulquiorra stared at the confusing Ichigo.

"Yeah! You lick your fingers like this." Ichigo walked over to Ulquiorra and licked the cheese off one of his fingers. Let's just say that after that, Ulquiorra never had another cheesy puff...

**_Drabble 7: Night fit_**

Ichigo was having a nightmare. Ulquiorra just watched her until she started to thrash around. He decided to wake her up. He walked over to Ichigo and gently shook her shoulder. Let's just say that Ulquiorra did not receive the same gentle treatment...

"Dirty Panther!" Ichigo shot out her fist and... WHAM! The fist landed square on Ulquiorra's face. "Ehh?" Ichigo looked around and saw Ulquiorra slouched on the wall. "WAAH! Ulqui-Kun!" Ichigo rushed towards Ulquiorra's side. "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I was having a nightmare, and Grimmjow was in it, and he killed you..." Ichigo started crying. Ulquiorra just set his hand on her shoulder.

"It's alright, Ichigo, you're safe now..." Ichigo stopped crying and proceeded to hug Ulquiorra tightly. Ichigo never had another nightmare...

**_Drabble 8: Bathing Suit Troubles_**

"Ulquiorra! We got a gift from Aizen-Sama and Fox-Face!" Ichigo set the package down on the bed. "Looks like it's also for Starrk and Grimmjow." As if on cue, the two other espada sauntered into the room.

"Fox-Face sent us something?" Grimmjow said with a yawn. Starrk fell back asleep standing up.

"Yep!" Ichigo tore open the box to reveal four bathing suits. "Ahh! So Kawaii! This one's yours!" Ichigo tossed a teal pair of trunks to Grimmjow. "This is Ulquiorra's." She handed the emerald trunks to Ulquiorra. "So the red one's must be Starrk's..." Ichigo tossed the red pair of trunks to Starrk whom caught them effortlessly. "So the only one left is..." Ichigo's face turned red. "NONONONONO!!!!! I'M NOT WEARING THAT!!!" Ichigo pointed inside the box.

"Ehh? Not wearing what?" Grimmjow peered over Ichigo's shoulder to see what she was talking about. He smirked and started laughing. Ulquiorra leaned over to get a look and immediately regretted it.

"A strawberry print bikini? Oh god... Fox-Face went too far..." Starrk said, leaning over Ichigo's other shoulder. "Well, you don't have anything else... you have to wear it..." Starrk jumped back when a fist came his way.

"I'M NOT WEARING THAT!!!!!!!!!" Ichigo yelled. Ulquiorra decided to try to ease her a bit. (mainly so that she doesn't blow up the Hotel... ^_^')

"Ichigo, one time won't hurt! We can pick up a different bathing suit on the way to the beach." Ulquiorra said, and Ichigo just sighed.

"Fine... I'll wear it..." Ichigo snatched up the bikini and closed the bathroom door. When she came back out, the three other Espada were already in their swimwear. Grimmjow was the first to notice Ichigo.

"HOLYGODANDFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!!!" Grimmjow yelled. Ulquiorra wheeled around to see what Grimmjow was yelling at, and what he saw was this: Ichigo, in the bikini that didn't really fit, her long orange hair braided, and wearing a smile that could put Gin to shame.

"Can we go now? I wanna get to the beach." Ichigo said to the three shocked espada at the sudden change in mood. They all left for the beach.

* * *

Yep. the Lick and the trick question Starrk asked Grimmjow was courtesy of my sister!

* the reason Ichigo's Cero was weak was because she was still in her gigai, not because it was quick... if she wasn't in the gigai, Grimmjow would be gone... and so would the hotel... ^.^' she's not the _Cero _Espada fot nothing!


End file.
